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Blog Hawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–10/26/12

Posted by Adam Butler on October 26, 2012

It’s Rebel Black Bear Week and we aren’t sure what to do with ourselves. Mississippi has a competent coach.

Arkansas’ modest 2-game winning streak hasn’t really stirred much excitement in a fan base that is just waiting on the next head coach to be named so it can work up a good mad.

There are a handful of intriguing games across the nation this week, but nothing spectacular. We will nevertheless forge ahead with the Blog Hawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview.

The only rules for this column are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag.

Let’s get to the 140-character nuggets of goodness.

Cincinnati at Louisville:  @Butchmade: This Fri. game may be a loser leave the Arkansas Coaching Search Match #GoRed!GoBlack!Go Bearcats!Fight!Fight!Fight!

Tennessee at South Carolina: @HungryHipBroke:  The Ole Ball Coach vs. a Soon-to-Be Former Ball Coach #RockyFlop

Texas at Kansas: @SorryCharlie: Even the Longhorns D will handle Can’tsas. #WeisisDas?Kaput

Kentucky at Missouri: @WeToldYouSo: A Joker v. A Smoker #DGBIsGonnaGetYouHigh-phenatedToday

Mississippi at Arkansas: @JohnLLLLSmith: Mississippi has improved, but don’t forget the Rebel Black Bears have added the same # of silly mascots as SEC wins in the last 17 games. #freetheLandShark

Colorado at Oregon: @Buffaloes,Hello: Oregon is a whopping 45.5 point favorite and the Ducks could cover it if CU had a 5th down. #oneverypossession

Florida at Georgia: @UGhA: Richt needs a big win in the World’s Largest Cocktail Party to soothe the ever-anxious Bulldog fans. #ItsaRuffCrowd

Texas Tech at Kansas St.: @Tommy Boy: If Tuberville can take a bite out of the Little Apple, he may be Calling the Hogs in December. #JimGrobeagreesthatwecoulddomuchworse

USCW at Arizona: @TusconPoint: Lane Kiffin is due for an unexpected bed soiling. #Big&RichRod

Kent St. at Rutgers: @FloodAlert: Remember when Arkansas’ loss to the Scarlet Knights was embarrassing? #NoSchianoNoProblem

Michigan St. at Wisconsin @WarmMilk: These teams are geared up for the World’s Largest Outdoor Sleep Study. #firstteamwithaTDwins

TCU at Oklahoma St. @EskimoJoe’s: Fort Worth v. Net Worth. #CouldGarybeJeffLong’sAceintheHole?

Texas A&M at Auburn: @ByeGene: Chizik is 16-17, 7-14 without Cam Newton at AU. #FamilyFallIn

Notre Dame at Oklahoma: @HeisMantiTe’o?: I’ve never rooted for ND. I have now. #justthisonce

Michigan at Nebraska: @TMagicShoelaces: Brady Hoke is excited about being so close to an infinite supply of high fructose corn syrup. #inhisownpantry

Mississippi St. at Alabama: @Scantron: This is MSU’s first test and it won’t be Saved By The Cowbell in Tuscaloosa. #undefeatedseasoncomestoaScreechinghalt

Oregon St. at Washington: @SparkSark: Sark needs a win. He was a hot name but may soon be on the hot seat. #puttheWbackinUW

Posted in Commentary, Sports | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–10/19/12

Posted by Adam Butler on October 19, 2012

The Blog Hawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview doesn’t have Open Weeks.

Open Weeks are for the offseason, and we dread the off season, so let’s not talk about it.

If you are reading this, chances are you know how it works. The only rules for this “most unique” (that’s for fellow Blog Hawg BK, he loves the phrase) Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag.

Twice this season, I (READ: not really me) have Tweeted the (formerly fake) Tweets on our Blog Hawgs Twitter account (follow us on Twitter here) in the hope that the once-dormant account will generate something Twitter buffs call “Followers”.

But, I’m not going to lie. I doubt they will be Tweeted again. But, follow us, anyway. We occasionally Tweet something of worth (how’s THAT for a hard sell?).

It’s time to Fake Tweet.

LSU at Texas A&M:  @ManInMaroon: Johnny has been Cash, but he’s about to go into a Burnin’ Ring of Fire. #anditburnsburnsburns

Va Tech at Clemson:  @DumboSwinney: Dabo is from Alabama and likes Elvis. #ofcoursehedoes

Iowa St. at Oklahoma St.:  @Rhoadshow: Ok St. beat KS by 6 and is eagerly awaiting the return of a true freshman QB whose name rhymes with Punt. #badsigns

Minnesota at Wisconsin:  @Waterboarding: This is the Game of the Week at Guantanamo Bay. #GenevaConventionsshouldapplytosuchtorture

Auburn at Vanderbilt:  @Exactamundo: With a loss at Vandy, Gene Chizik can clean his 14, AU Fonzie-style leather jackets out of the closet. #Aaaaeeeyy!

Stanford at Cal: @Robbery: I’ve seen men go to prison for less than what the refs did to Stanford last week at Notre Dame. #SouthBendOverTime

South Carolina at Florida: @Homey: This trip to The Swamp is USCE’s last road game of the year. #It’sWeek8

BYU at Notre Dame: @’12GOP: Romney (Morman) v. Ryan (Catholic) 47% of ppl who try to watch this game will feel entitled to quickly turn it off. #Bindersfulloflinemen

Texas Tech at TCU: @BatterUp: Arkansas AD Jeff Long’s infield single vs. his home run hire. #Don’tReTreadOnMeProgram

Michigan State at Michigan: @XXXL: Michigan St. has had the Paul Bunyan Trophy for 4 years. Brady Hoke has shopped at Paul Bunyan’s for 4 years. #GoBigBlueOx

Alabama at Tennessee: @fishes&loaves: Derek Dooley needs a miracle to survive in Knoxville. A win against Bama would qualify. #Braywon’tparttheRedD

Kansas St. at West Virginia: @Heismen: Collin v. Geno in the whitest Heisman forename battle ever. #ConnorShawdislikesthis

Kansas at Oklahoma: @Amazon.c’mon: KU is the home of the ORIGINAL Rules of Basketball. If only the JayHawks had a copy of the current rules of football. #$4.3millioncouldbuyafew

Georgia at Kentucky: @Karma: Joker Phillips is paying for John Calipari’s sins. #historysuggestsUKwillpaywhenCalisgone.

MTSU at Mississippi State: @Misstake: Starkville has been the Cupcake Capital of the South in 2012. #thatexplainsalot

Florida St. at Miami: @ItsAllAboutThaL: Al has to be looking for his Golden Handcuffs. #wehaveanoldpairhecanborrow

Baylor at Texas: @BurntOrange: Maybe Manny isn’t so Handy after all. #BeatingtheTxdefenseisChild’sPlay

Utah at Oregon St. @LifeofRiley: Beaver is the new mink. #noanimalswereharmedinthemakingoftheseFakeTweets

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BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–10/12/12

Posted by Adam Butler on October 12, 2012

Kiehl put a football-related Smiehl on my face last Saturday for the first time in Awhiehl.

I don’t need much to put me in a Fake Tweeting mood.

Real Tweets? I’ve never sent one. But Fake Tweets? I told you once, you sons of guns, I’m the best there’s ever been.

By now, you may well know the drill. The only rules for this trailblazin’ Twitter style College Football Weekend Preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag.

On some occasions  throughout the year, I (READ: not really me) have Tweeted the (formerly fake) Tweets on our BlogHawgs Twitter account (follow us on Twitter here) in the hope that the once-dormant account will generate something Twitter buffs call “Followers”.

If BK returns from hiatus, we may Tweet them, again. I know you can hardly wait. So, let’s go.

Louisville at Pittsburgh: @BigLeast: A team from the ‘Ville vs. a team with a Vile record. #winoneforBeano

Kansas St. at Iowa St.: @DustyRhoads: Did you say “Trap Game” or “Trapped in Ames”? #botharescary

Texas at Oklahoma: @nOU: Maybe the NCAA will make both teams wear Throwback Unis and force them to end the game in a tie. #dare2dream

Iowa at Mich. St.: @REM: My Sleep Number is “Big Ten”. #forgetLeaders&LegendstryNyquil&BenadrylDivisions

Auburn at Mississippi: @gagreflex: Hugh froze last week and Chizik’s offense was a tasty snack for a starving Hog defense. #Chizik’sLossGeneisdominantagain

North Carolina at Miami: @InfractionJaxon: Free schedule posters to the first 200 NCAA investigators through the gate. #b/ctheywilldoubletheattendance

Utah at UCLA: @PowderBoooo: A team full of Mormans vs. a team that needs More Men. #tobybaileywalked

Alabama at Missori: @APinkelNTime: Vegas has 2/1 odds on Pinkel’s Blood Alcohol Content Level being higher than MU’s point total for the whole game Saturday. #athalftime

West Virginia at Texas Tech: @homEs: Mountaineers vs. Big Ears. #GenoisSuperior

Stanford at Notre Dame: @GoldenYear: For the 1st time in decades, ND may be as good as they think they are. #’93seemslikeyesterday

Oregon St. at BYU: @BeaverCleaver: Leave it to the Beavers to get pelted in Provo. #sayitain’tso,JoeSmith

Illinois at Michigan: @Yummy: Illinois’ QB was the ’11 Hunger Bowl MVP. Michigan HC Brady Hoke is always hungry and looking for Bowls of pasta. #hefindsthem

Oklahoma St. at Kansas: @TomJoad: Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Charlie Weis walked by. #Idon’tevenknowwhatthatmeansbutitmademelaugh

Boston College at Florida St.: @Displacement: After an embarrassing loss to NCState, FSU is gonna pants a BC team that lost to Army last week. #andprovenada

Florida at Vanderbilt: @punTTeam: The Gators are again proving that they can win w/o a QB who can throw. #butdoeshewearjorts?

USC at Washington: @SnoopLion: USC Super Fan, Snoop, was looking for a trip to a different You Dub.  #Sarkhopestosmokeanotherbigfatfavorite

Kentucky at Arkansas: @WPS: As far as I know, no Hog starters suffered season-ending injuries while reading this tweet. #butIcouldbewrong

South Carolina at LSU: @RedStick: Mettennberger is German for “really bad QB with worse facial hair“. #it’strue.Ihad4semestersofdeutschincollege

Ohio St. at Indiana: @HoosierDaddy: Keith Urban could take over for Urban Meyer this week and tOSU would still win. #andthisisn’tAussieRulesfootball

Tennessee at Mississippi St.: @RockyRoad: At 3-3 with Bama & S. Car. on the horizon a loss at Starkville might be the first Domino to fall for Derek Dooley. #1moreyrplz

Texas A&M at La. Tech.: @Blmeitontherain: Sonny hopes to shower TDs down on the Ags in a game that was initially postponed due to Hurricane Isaac. #willtheDykesbreak?

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BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–9/28/12

Posted by Adam Butler on September 27, 2012

It’s hard to bring 140-characters of powerhouse Twitter thunder when your team could give up 140 points the following Saturday.

It’s even harder when your newborn baby has been on Earth fewer days than the average number of touchdowns allowed per game by the Razorbacks.

But, I am here, and I’m ready to do my job. I can only hope the Hogs will have the same attitude Saturday at Kyle Field in College Station, Texas.

As usual, the only rules for this often imitated, but never duplicated Twitter style preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag.

Just as I have throughout the year, I am going to Tweet the (formerly fake) Tweets on our BlogHawgs Twitter account (follow us on Twitter here). The hope is that the once-dormant account will generate something the kids call followers.

Don’t hold me to that, though. Our Tweeter-in-Chief is playing hurt this week and his employer’s Information Technology guy (READ: Computer Babysitter) is trying desperately to justify his existence. We’re not letting The Man keep us down.

Baylor at West Virginia: @UncleJed: A few more wins and the Poor Mountaineers will be looking to strike some bubblin’ crude. #OilThatIsBlackGoldTexasTea.

Missouri at Central Florida: @StinkyPinkel: Mo Money, MO Problems. #SEC=BigGamesNotAmes.

Arkansas at Texas A&M: @PaulBearers: Look What We’ve Got Our Haynes On Now. #nottheopponents’receivers.

Ohio St. at Michigan St: @Urbansprawl: Smart A vs. Sparty. #myhotdoghasa2ndnameitsIreallyhateM-E-Y-E-R.

Tennessee at Georgia: @40ShadesofBray: Even Eminem thinks Tyler Bray is overdoing it. #TodaywasagoodBray?

Florida St. at South Florida: @TallyHope: E.J. Manuel has been Automatic in 2012. #thatgrindsDabosgears.

South Carolina at Kentucky: @Cat-astrophe: Kentucky may not even be the 3rd-best team in a Basketball State. #IdontneedareasontoblameCalipari.

Texas at Oklahoma St.: @A Man who is 40 vs. a Mack who has coached for 40. #CashbeatsAsh.

Wisconsin at Nebraska: @SleepApnea: Save a CPAP Machine. Watch this game. #yousnoozeBadgerslose.

Mississippi at Alabama: @Mr.Freeze: Give Hugh his due. The Rebel Black Bears are greatly improved. #buttheTideisstillwaytootough.

 

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BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–9/13/12

Posted by Adam Butler on September 13, 2012

                  ”What’s Happiness? It’s the moment before you need more happiness.”–Don Draper, Mad Men

Sometimes, Karma can be a real Nancy Grace.

I definitely paid dearly for last week’s 140-character nuggets of “Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview” goodness.

Someone named Kolton Browning ambled into the War Memorial Stadium endzone in overtime last Saturday night in Little Rock, capping a most unexpected 34-31 Louisiana-Monroe victory over the Arkansas Razorbacks.

As Browning crossed the goalline, a little large piece of me died. Luckily for BlogHawgs Nation, it wasn’t the part of me that revels in unnecessary, mean-spirited College Football fashioned sarcasm.

As usual, the only rules for this soon-to-be-copied Twitter style preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but ing may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag.

Just as last week, I am going to Tweet the (formerly fake) Tweets on our BlogHawgs Twitter account (follow us on Twitter here). The hope is that is the once-dormant account will generate something the kids call followers.

If so, that’s great. If not, you will at the very least still get your weekly does of gruff cynicism. Let’s get it started:

California at Ohio State: @millertime: Even the Cal-Berkley students hate Urban Meyer and they love everyone. #herbnotUrb

Virginia Tech at Pittsburgh: @Pittiful: Hokies vs. Slow Pokeys. #NoDoubtingThomasthisweek

Arkansas State at Nebraska: @Gussites: Malzahn’s worshippers are turning Jonesboro into Jonestown. #JimJoneswaslessegocentric

Louisiana-Monroe at Auburn: @moltenKolton: After watching Kiehl Frazier play QB again last week, I am convinced he’ll be a nice Tight End one day. #QBRuKiddingMe?

Presbyterian at Vanderbilt: @DoreNthaFloor: James Franklin is having a tough time coaching Vandy and QBing Mizzou at the same time.#GloriaVanderbiltcouldbeatPresbyterian

Alabama at Arkansas: @HogsRConcussin: This game could have a storybook ending. I just hope the book isn’t “The Shining”. #LittlepigslittlepigsdontletNickcomein

Massachusetts at Michigan: @RobinsonCruSoso: Michigan’s starters will be in for a Minute, Man. #UMASSiveletdown

North Carolina at Louisville: @CountryStrong: Will Arkansas native Charlie Strong be the next Head Hog? #stillaPioneer

Texas A&M at SMU: @NKOTB: Ags shouldn’t have to worry about their 2nd-half woes this week. #itsamanziel

Florida at Tennessee: @bitterpill: The “Gameday” crew should be in the Ozarks instead of the Smokey Mountains. #OrangeowesBrowning

UAB at South Carolina: @ConnorWho?: Former Hog OC Garrick McGee hopes to take down USCE for a big 1st W. #GoBlazers

Arizona State at Missouri: @JarvisJones: How’d you like that old Man Football, Misery? #FaurUhOhField

Mississippi State at Troy: @StarkVegas: NCAA trouble is brewing in Cowbell Country. #Mullenhisoptions?

USC at Stanford: @UpsetAlert: This budding rivalry keeps getting better. Could Stanford surprise USCW? #whatsinthisTrojanHorse?

Idaho at LSU: @Red Stick: Suspensions, injuries and academic casualties are piling up for LSU. #Ih8that

Notre Dame at Michigan State: @Sparty: Tough MSU defense should change luck of the Irish. #andNDwillstillmoveupinthepolls

Texas at Ole Miss: @BigHeadToddy: If Mack loses this one he may be put out to pasture. #cantheybothlose?

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BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–11/24/11

Posted by Adam Butler on November 24, 2011

By this time tomorrow, Arkansas may have punched its ticked to the BCS Championship Game. Let that sink in for a minute. That made me tingle a little bit just typing it. Maybe it was my Tennis Elbow acting up. I guess I need to put my brace back on. PAUSE

OK. Now I am good to go.

Let the record reflect that I am a gamer. Neither Thanksgiving nor Tennis Elbow (nor the (national non-buildup for our Game of a Generation) can stop me from spending an inordinate amount of time on a marginally funny post that will be read by a dozen people, at best.

Now, let’s fake Twizeat.

The only rules for the BlogHawgs Twitter Style CFB Weekend preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each tweet with a smartazz (that’s for fellow BlogHawg, BK–he LOVES Zs in place of Ss) hash tag. Here we go:

Texas at Texas A&M: 11and11nlast22: Aggies’ Cyrus Gray should turn burnt orange black and blue. #keepaustinmediocre

Houston at Tulsa: airraid: Keenum? I hardly knew ‘em. #Case’scareermayoutlastCougarTown,anditshould

Iowa at Nebraska: awwshucks: Hawkeyes vs. The Cornhuskers–This game smells like something with corn in it. #michiganlovedtmagicsdisappearingactlastweek

Ohio St. at Michigan: urbsfamily: Thanks, Ohio St. We don’t like him any more than anyone else. #hemakestrumplookhumble

Missouri at Kansas: @dropfbhawks: Mizzou may score more points against KU than Duke hoops did last night (68). #shouldabeenturnervs.theguywholikesHooch

Georgia at Ga. Tech: @hobnailedboot: RIP Larry Munson. #wrecktech

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest: @SAT: Sub-2000 SAT scores need  not apply. #logarithms

Clemson at USCE: @daBoooo!: We told you emotion only lasts so long. #daboishungarianforHoustonNutt

Duke at N. Carolina: @DickieV: What time is tipoff? #IsGusafraidoftheACCtoo?

Tennessee at Kentucky: @passthebottle: Evan Williams v. Jack Daniels. Copious amounts will be needed to stomach this rock fight. #cutmeoff

Alabama at Auburn: @theforwardpass: Remember, me, War Damn Eagle Tigers? #thegusbusdoesntpassbetweenthewhitelines

Virginia Tech at Virginia: @namegame: Hokies v. Wahoos. Best nickname matchup in America–every year. #thatsallithasgoing4it

Penn St. at Wisconsin: @B10conference: This game is for the Big 10 “Leaders Division” Title. The sad irony is not lost on us. #itdidnthavetohappen

Texas Tech at Baylor: @jtessitore: The Oklahoma bad loss bowl. RG3 may have 450 total yards. #OUwasfavoredbyacombined44points

Florida State at Florida @noexcuse: Free Shoes U. vs. An overrated coach that will F-bomb U. #urbyourenthusiasm

Mississippi at Mississippi State: @houstontxtins: There are lots of lions and tigers and bears but I will coach the Memphis Tigers if they’ll pay me. #morristhecateventhinksIvehad2manylives

Notre Dame at Stanford: @luckystrikes: Someone’s Luck is going to run out. #lookout4thedomersin’12

Iowa St. at Oklahoma: @littlegameBob: No 30-point dog is coming into Norman and winning–except for the one that did and then lost 66-6 at home 3 weeks later. #alwaysOUverrated

UCLA at USCW: @NCAAprobation: A team destined for probation vs. a team on probation. #cheatersDOsometimeswinbutNeuheiseldoesn’t

Arkansas at LSU: @mourning88: On Sunday, Razorback Nation wept. On Friday, win or lose it will, too. But, we will not forget #88. #teamonamission

 

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BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–11/19/11

Posted by Adam Butler on November 18, 2011

Thanksgiving is almost upon us and I still don’t have a Twitter account.

I do, however, have an internationally renowned Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview. And, thanks to Arkansas Wide Receiver Cobi Hamilton, BlogHawgs now has Re-Tweet Cred. What’s next? A Faux Hawk? Skinny Jeans? An over-inflated sense of self? Only time will tell.

Unfortunately, 11 glorious weekends of college football are in the books, so we don’t have much time left to make spiteful, snarky comments about pretty much every major college football program. Rest assured, though–I am as ready today to bring smarmy fake Tweets as I was on Day 1 of the season.

The only rules for the BlogHawgs Twitter Style CFB Weekend preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each tweet with a smartazz (that’s for fellow BlogHawg, BK–he LOVES Zs in place of Ss) hash tag. Here we go:

Oklahoma State at Iowa State: @bweeeden’89: I’m glad this one is on Friday night. I’m chaperoning my daughter’s high school homecoming dance, Saturday. #OldHeisMan

Wisconsin at Illinois: @weRzooked: Even Ron Zook’s postgame rants are boring and ineffective. #mr.february

Kentucky at Georgia: @RichtgrrrScale: From the Hot Seat to Hotlanta. #noeasyoutintheSECCG

Vanderbilt at Tennessee: @Vandymania: The ‘Dores are 1-27 against UT since ’82, but Vandy is a road favorite. Dooley noted. #betweenaRockyTopandahardplace

Texas Tech at Missouri: @nO,U: Tech is so bad Mizzou Coach Gary Pinkel played Quarters Wednesday instead of scripting the first quarter. #whatsyourexcuseOU?

Kansas at Texas A&M: @SmokedSherman: How many Aggies does it take to screw up a preseason Top 10 team? Don’t answer that. #SECusoon

LSU at Mississippi: @WeToldUSo: This season has finally provided the proverbial pound of The Mississippi Coach’s flesh. #passthefavabeansandchianti

California at Stanford: @ALuck12: It seemed like the band was on the field last  week. #Indyisniceinthesummer

Nebraska at Michigan: @Maize&Boo: 2 All-Nickname Team QBs with All-Sunbelt Conference talent. #theforwardpassisimportantforaQB

Penn St. at Ohio St.: @ShameGame: Remember when this game mattered? #stillangry

Kansas St. at Texas: @MackAttack: Is it too early to fire a bunch of assistant coaches, again? #3envelopes 

Boston College at Notre Dame: @DomerHomer: At 7-3, we’re guaranteed a BCS Bowl, right? #Win8forTheGipper

SMU at Houston: @MakinthaCase: 17, 537 passing yards & 144 TDs. Imagine the #s he would have if he played in the Big 12! #afriendlyreminderthatOUlostto30ptdogTTechinNorman

USC at Oregon: @Ilikeursweater:  *Holding Nose* Fight On!  #OllyOllyAutzenFree

Boise St. at San Diego St.: @Nov.Reign: What? Boise choked even though it (per the usual) only had 2 competitve games all season? It must be November. #goaway

Mississippi St. at Arkansas: @RockCityHam: Cobi Hamilton 14 Mississippi State 10 #MayorofMarkham

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BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview–11/11/11 Edition

Posted by Adam Butler on November 11, 2011

It’s Week 11 and it’s 11/11/11. I’m no numerologist, but that MUST mean this is going to be a great weekend of college football, right?

It has already gotten off to a shaky start. I have been poised to join the rest of the World and actually sign up for a Twitter account, but alas, it appears my heaven-sent user(/band) name is already taken. (Why didn’t *I* think of that??)

But, like Eduardo Saverin, we soldier on. Our first BlogHawgs billion isn’t going to make itself.

The only rules for the BlogHawgs Twitter Style CFB Weekend preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each tweet with a smartazz (that’s for BK–he LOVES Zs in place of Ss) hash tag. Here we go:

Ohio State at Purdue: @freetatsroknow:  Can Urb dot the eye, tomorrow? #goodlucknthefutureluke

Michigan at Illinois: @slowurroll: ”That’s a Tight End right there, boys”. “Um, noooo, it’s a Wide Receiver.” #big10.3fortytime

Kentucky at Vandy: @winnintime: We hear you knockin’, Vandy. Open the Dore. #hogsstrengthofschedule

Wake Forest at Clemson: @clempsunfan: “Didn’t we almost have it all?” #notreally

Texas A&M at Kansas State: @gigmeintheeye: Sherman lost his effeminately named tank last week. Is his job, next? #itshouldbe

TCU at Boise State: @papasmurf: I’m so sick of Blue. #1gameseasons

Miami at Florida State: @iluvtha90s:  I would rather watch an alumni game. #nostalgia

Texas at Missouri: @byenotBye: I will be rooting for the program that wasn’t afraid to play with the big boys. #keepaustinweird

Nebraska at Penn State: @denial: Penn’s motto is “Virtue, Liberty, Independence.” May future PSU admins have 1. Sandusky none of 2., and the victims some form of 3.” #shame

Oklahoma State at Texas Tech: @HELP!: Will that Doege hunt? #PokethePokesbubble

Michigan State at Iowa: @fructose: Brought to you by: Corn. Seriously. #adspaceferentz

Tennessee at Arkansas: @arresteddev.: Hogs are 8-1, “But, I am still thirsty.” #thanksseniors!

Florida at South Carolina: @brianwilson(7:30): A Prick vs. The Cocks. #hogsshouldascored60

Washington at USC: @home4theholidays: Still smarting from Stanford Lucking out in The Coliseum. #thanksfornothinglane

Auburn at Georgia: @upsetalert: An easy (by SEC standards) schedule makes me wonder if the Dawgs’ bark is worse than their bite. #beatBoise

Oregon at Stanford: @elimination: The Quack is about to attack. #highliters

Alabama at Mississippi State: @cryinggame: Les always seems to have a suprise….taped down. #hoping4ahangover

La Tech at Mississippi: @wemissualready: We called that mid-season firing, brutha. #timbrandoluvsNutts

Notre Dame at Maryland: @traditionalunis: Ugly vs. Ugly. #myearlycollegedatingoptions

Western Kentucky at LSU: @walkthru: The Tigers could tailgate all day and beat the Hilltoppers–even if they didn’t take the field until the 3rd quarter. #we’llseeyain2weeks

 

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Wanna Know Why I Hate Twitter? Fools Like Tim Brando

Posted by Adam Butler on November 8, 2011

The CBS College Football Studio Host and longtime Houston Nutt apologist and Hog hater must have been in his cups last nite.

That is the only thing I can think of to explain Tim Brando’s odd behavior on the internets. In the wake of the news that The Mississippi Coach will soon be no more, Brando spent most of yesterday on Twitter defending Nutt and painting Arkansas fans with a broad brush.

One might think that Brando would want to talk about anything but Nutt and Arkansas fans at this point. After Arkansas parted ways with Nutt following the 2007 season, Brando routinely railed on Arkansas fans for what he deemed to be their collective shabby treatment of Nutt, and essentially said they would rue the day they ran off The Mississippi Coach.

In so doing, he also made it a point to repeatedly, dismissively lecture Arkansas fans about how they had unrealistic expectations and Arkansas could do no better than Nutt (Will he say the same to Mississippi fans during their search? No way. Brando is chummy with Mississippi legend and Coach Maker Archie Manning).

Now, less than four years later with Arkansas (led by Bobby Petrino) pulling itself out of the ditch Nutt left it in and establishing a perennial Top Ten caliber program, Nutt has Mississippi back in the same ditch. (To Nutt’s next employer: Watch Out For Black Ice!)

And, Brando, unlike Nutt, is on the offensive and defending the man who has put Mississippi back in its comfort zone–last place (and waaaaay worse nationally than Mississippi’s traditional 50th spot……MISSISSIPPI FANS–DO IT NOW–OCCUPY FBS EXPANSION! Does the FBS really need 2 schools from New Mexico? It may take Mississippi math, but we can get you back down/up to 50th!!).

Yesterday, after the announcement of Nutt’s firing/resignation at Mississippi, Brando sent several shots over the bow, but this was the most ill-advised:

TimBrandoTim Brando

 
The sad side of our culture shows up when people take joy out of someone else’s bad news. No tweets or interviews for me in Arkansas again.
 Soon after seeing it, I predicted a forthcoming (forced) apology, but even though I suggested, tongue-in-cheek, that it would happen in a matter of minutes, I was surprised when it actually did:
 
TimBrandoTim Brando

 
Upon further review I shouldn’t have proclaimed no more tweets or interviews in Arkansas. A bit much, as my wife would remind me. Apologies.
So, the professional journalist who has, for years, derided an entire state for the reactionary moves of a segment of fans, is now apologizing for being…….reactionary? That’s rich.
 
Not unexpectedly, Brando will have TMC on his radio show, today, within the hour (10:30 a.m.). If it wasn’t so early, it might be a good time for an “Excuses Drinking Game”. They will be flowing. You can count on it.

Posted in Commentary, Sports | Tagged: , , , | 13 Comments »

The Return of BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview

Posted by Adam Butler on November 4, 2011

With the Game of the Century, Millenium, History of Existence coming up, it feels like a good time to bring back BlogHawgs Twitter Style College Football Weekend Preview.

The only rules for the BlogHawgs Twitter Style CFB Weekend preview are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each tweet with a smartazz (that’s for BK–he LOVES Zs in place of Ss) hash tag. Here we go:

Mississippi at Kentucky: @pinkslips: The Mississippi Coach may squeek out close wins against 2 awful teams (UK and Miss. St.) and live to ruin more QBs. #double0fortheSECends

Vanderbilt at Florida: @vandymania: Gators should win, but are starting to realize ”Weis” is German for “overrated”. #not2big2fail

Michigan at Iowa: @lackospeedkills: Hawkeyes lost last week 2 a team from Minnesota that wasn’t coached by Craig T. Nelson. #thingsthatshouldneverhappenmuchless2seasonsinarow

Texas Tech at Texas: @redraiderriver?: Ears vs. Steers. #orangeugonnabeatanygoodteams?

Texas A&M at OU: @prissyyellboy: Leads are silly! They’re like cheerleaders! Who needs ‘em? Whoooop! #noIsaidsendhimtoarealmilitaryschool

South Carolina at Arkansas: @thefirsthalf: Well, hello, Razorbacks, have we met? #4quarters=money

LSU at Alabama: @fuzzymath: Bama claims 13 National Championships (or so). Les Miles claims to be able to count to 13 (or so). #fingersandtoes

Oregon at Washington: @duckducksloose: I probably should care, but I don’t. #itsthePacWhatever

Kansas State at Oklahoma State: @Geritol: Brandon Weeden’s grandkids are pumped for this game. #mandatoryretirementageisntjustforairtrafficcontrollers

Missouri at Baylor: @fire&brimstone: I am praying these teams Show Me something other than mediocre defense. #RG3C3PO

Houston at UAB: @12thyrsenior: Brandon Weeden was 33 when Case Keenum arrived in Houston. #graduate,already

Boise at UNLV: @playsomeone: From The Mountain West to the mighty Big East. What a step up! #NoBCSfortheBigLeast

 

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