www.si.com Back by Popular Demand
Today figures to be Black Friday in more ways than one for Hog fans. But, the good news is there are less than 14 shopping days left until Athletic Director Jeff Long will present an anxious fan base with a new leader.
In the meantime, we are running out of time to hate on our college football brethren. So, let’s Snark ‘Til We Drop.
The only rules for this column are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag. Let’s have some hateful fun.
Nebraska at Iowa: @Meladonttunein: Forget L-Tryptophan. This game is why your weird Uncle Bill will be passed out on the sofa. #canwedriveyoutotheairport?
LSU at Arkansas: @FayetteDamned: This Turkey of a season can’t end soon enough for Arkansas. #isitmeordoesthatwishbonelooklikeaHornedFrog?
Michigan at Ohio State: @KFC-Bus: A man named Urb dreaming of a perfect season vs. a Man & 1/2 named Brady dreaming of perfect herbs & seasonings. #fatfingerlickingood
Kentucky at Tennessee: @SourMashed: There will be over 100,000 in the stands at Neyland Stadium. Whiskey bottles, that is. #and50,000fans
Oregon at Oregon St. @CivilShepherd: Nike needs to develop a dark brown uni for Oregon’s annual late-November bed soiling, #Duck,duck,duck,cookedgoose
Georgia Tech at Georgia :@WreckedTech: Knick Knack Paddy Wack, throw the Dawgs a Wishbone. #actuallyGTwillhanditoff
Auburn at Alabama: @$180,000: Chizik is about to enjoy a paid vacation. SEC fans will enjoy the vacation of a(n) (allegedly) paid (for) title. #doestheDevilhaveabuyout?
Florida at Florida State: @GainesVile: Free Shoes University v. No Shoes University. #noshirt,noshoes+jorts=noproblem
Oklahoma St. at Oklahoma: @AxisofEden: OU fans aren’t too worried about little brother. Abel wasn’t either. #isthatforbiddenfruitonOK’sonlytree?
Vanderbilt at Wake Forest: @JacobMarley: The Ghost of Coaching Searches Past v. The Toast of Coaching Searches Present & Future. #VUwillbeattheDickensoutofWF
Stanford at UCLA: @Mora!Mora!: UCLA did the impossible and humbled Lane Kiffin for a few hours last week. #OK,morelikeafewminutes
Missouri at Texas A&M: @TooflessTigers: DGB=Don’t Go Bowling. #butatleasthenowhasmoreTDsthannames
South Carolina at Clemson: @verklemptSon: Spurrier hates Dabo. Dabo hates Spurrier. #weknowhowtheyfeel
Mississippi St. at Mississippi: @FinishHimHuey: Hugh Freeze has made Mississippi fans forget their former coach. #untilthe4thquarter
Notre Dame at USCW:@MantiTe’NO: Even Sarah Palin thinks Te’o's Heisman candidacy is a joke. #youcansee43tacklersfromhere
La. Tech at San Jose St. @GrowingPains: Colby Cameron hates losing worse than Kirk Cameron hates the GP theme song. #becauseitwassungbyaguynamedBJ
Blog Hawgs Twitter-Style College Football Weekend Preview–11/16/12
Posted by Adam Butler on November 16, 2012
www.si.com
Our long, (Razorback) National Nightmare is almost over.These Fake Tweets (and the knowledge that the Arkansas Razorbacks should have a new head football coach in the next 2-3 weeks) are all that keep me hanging on through to the bitter end of the 2012 College Football season.
The only rules for this column are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag. Let’s have some hateful fun.
Iowa at Michigan: @TheLifeofPica: Most ppl know Denard Robinson is nicknamed “Shoelace”. Most ppl don’t know it’s bc Brady Hoke ate it. “ #doubleknot
Northwestern at Michigan St.: @CountinSheep: I’d rather watch “You’ve Got Mail” on a week-long loop. #atleastitfeaturesMegRyanb4shebecameanalien
Arkansas at Mississippi St.: @TonyStarkville: Even Iron Man couldn’t heal Hog fans’ wounds. #buttherighthirecouldAvengethem
Alabama A&M at Auburn: @PayDirt: Only 4 FBS teams have scored fewer points than the War Damn Eagle Tigers. #$180,000doesn’tgoasfarasitusedto
USC at UCLA: @GregggggDoyel: When King Douche is fed up with your douchebaggery, you need to seek immediate help. #butnotfromyourDad
Wake Forest at Notre Dame: @PeaSoup: The Catholics figure to perform an exorcism on the Demon Deacons. #butBrianKellywillstillbetheonecursinglikeLindaBlair. (NSFW)
Mississipppi at LSU: @RebelFail: Two meltdowns in Oxford have put Mr. Freeze’s Bowl plans on ice. #HolyVandyMania,Batman
Sam Houston St. at Texas A&M: @JohnnyNoseFB: TAMU freshman phenom Johnny Manziel is walking proof of the Jersey Factor. #please,Johnny,usetheScoobymask,too
Texas Tech at Oklahoma St.: @RedRaidEars: Losing to Kansas would have been a slap in the face to Tuberville’s hopes of escaping Lubbock. #SlapDashing
Ohio St. at Wisconsin: @TomUrban&Harry: Cheese Heads vs. another kind of head. #ajerkhead,ofcourse
Utah State at La Tech: @Cameron’sCrazy: Colby Cameron & La Tech think they can win “As Long As They’ve Got Each Other“. #MattPerry’spostFriendsworkshowsKirkmayhavehad1thingright
Oklahoma at West Virginia: @Flossin: The Men from the Land Of Few Trees v. The Men From the Land of Few Teeth. #TheirBarkisMuchWorseThanTheirBite
Syracuse at Missouri: @DGBLuvsOrange: After a breakout game last week, Dorial Green-Beckham shot up to 386th in the country in rec. yards. #&has4moreyardsthantheHogs’3rdstringQB
Tennessee at Vanderbilt: @Insult2Injury: Vandy is laying 4 points to the 4-win Vols. #andshouldbe
Kansas St. at Baylor: @Smooch: A QB that didn’t kiss his Wife ’til they were married vs. a Student Body that thinks it was too soon. #CeliBCSy
Samford at Kentucky: @yUK: UK might lose this game even if it was facing one dude named Sam Ford. #thePointSpreadis:”Finda12-StepProgram”
Stanford at Oregon: @UhO: Stanford alum Tiger Woods needs to step out of the Duck costume. Now. #DriveforshowPuddlesfortheO
Share this:
Like this:
Posted in Commentary, Sports | Tagged: Arkansas Razorbacks, College Football, Collin Klein, Oregon Cheerleaders, SEC | 2 Comments »