The BlogHawgs Dictionary
180,000: The amount necessary to purchase something important.
AHF: Average Hog Fan
At the BlogHawgs Offices: Animated Series by part-time lawyer, full time blog contributor Kris Boyd. Boyd has a lot of free time. (See Kris (Fill In The Blank) below)
Bad Announcing Hall of Fame: A list of sports or news announcers that are either bad or just had a bad moment. Usually both.
Bama Fan: Bama Fans are slovenly mouth-breathers that never think they lose a game. They always have an excuse for losing, even if the score is 42-6 and they have a ratio of about 3.5:1 of claimed National Championships versus real.
BlogHawg Nation: You, the readers of our little blog. See? You have your own entry in the dictionary.
Blue Man: Adam and Jeff are both blessed with the one silver lining to incurable afflictions. They can park in those great spots with the blue guy in the chair. (See Two Affliction Rule for details)
Blythe-Vegas: Reference to the metropolis of Blytheville (pronounced “blah-ville) Arkansas.
Boise State: To say that someone or something is ‘Boise State’ is to say that they think they deserve respect for not doing that much. Although Brett gives them respect no matter what.
The Butler Did It: When Adam has something to say, he compiles it in this as-needed column. Adam will usually go off on something that angers him but sometimes he posts about his hope for Razorback dominance (and world peace.)
BWOT: Bret With One T, a frequent poster to BlogHawgs who for some reason is missing a T. The BWOT handle is to differentiate himself from BWTT, Brett With Two T’s, BlogHawg co-founder, Brett Kincaid. Apparently this is fodder for spirited debate over which spelling is wrong. Some think that Brett’s name shows a gluttonous use of the letter, T. (Yep. These are the things we argue about.)
BYE Week: BYE weeks only occur in tournaments where one team advances to the next round without facing an opponent. Not to be confused with OPEN week (see below)
College Football Baby Jesus: Former Florida quarterback and now Denver Broncos MVP, Tim Tebow… God’s Quarterback.
Co-Op: Adam doesn’t steal, lift, or plagiarize. He… Co-Ops.
COY: Comment of the year (used only to save us lots of typing when suggesting nominees for the award)
Euless Trinity: The Texas football team that annihilated Shiloh Christian on national TV in August, 2010. To get the Euless Trinity treatment is to think you’re big and bad OR to be called “the best” at something and then to be shown otherwise.
Football Binge: A full Saturday (11:00am – 11:00pm) of nothing but college football – typically at a bar or restaurant (or series of) – enjoyed only with your buddies, unencumbered by any other responsibility.
Foul Pole: Our loving nickname for BH regular, JUJU. What can we say? He looks like one and he has the same range of motion and vertical ability.
Fourth Meal: Yes, the same one you’ve heard of. For some reason when the BlogHawgs have their semi-annual executive session it always ends at Taco Bell. There’s no explaining it but Adam is usually the instigator.
Frontman: Any person who takes the lead in any event. Usually a spokesperson. For example, Vince Neil is the Motley Crue frontman.
Generally Speaking: A very infrequently posted column by Jeff (“The General” in his radio days) when he feels a rant coming on.
The Hill: 1) The campus of the University of Arkansas, as it is situated on an actual hill with Old Main on top
2) The city of Fayetteville, as you have to go “up” 540 or 412 to get there from any other part of the state.
3) A quick reference to DWR Razorback stadium:
A Hypocrite’s Hypocrite: Former USCW Head Coach, Pete Carroll. His only redeeming quality is third-stringing Mitch Mustain after he transferred from Arkansas.
The Idiot Box: A (usually) weekly column by Jeff about TV. When it does not appear, you may assume it is because Jeff is too busy watching TV.
It Is What It Is: A useless waste of e-ink and/or speech that bloggers, athletes, and just about everyone else use when they cannot think of a creative or more descriptive way to say something. Particularly despised by Jeff so thereby commonly used by Brett and Adam.
Jim Gooch: Gooch is a frequent commenter and sometimes contributor to BlogHawgs that makes Brett and Adam look like Rush Limbaugh. If that’s possible. He is also the only regular who has been censored by Adam. He wears that like a badge of honor. Unlike the rest of us, Gooch seems to need to work more than contribute. We miss him dearly.
John Boozman: The newly-elected U.S. Senator from Arkansas who PLAYED FOR THE ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS. Did you know that?
Kris (Fill In The Blank) or, The Changing Names of Kris: Kris Boyd, an LA (not Lowell, see below) attorney with two kids but still a whole lot of free time. We think he is a lawyer. His link is on the BH page but… let’s just say he seems to have time to make At The BlogHawg Office videos and change his name on here. A lot.
LA: Lowell Arkansas or Lower Arkansas depending on context. Examples: “I got pulled over in LA!” – Lowell. “I have another stupid meeting in LA.” – Lower.
Maukavelli: Another frequent commenter to BH. To get Maukavellied means get ready to be corrected.
Memphis Wrestling (also Mid-South Wrestling): Referring to the Saturday-morning broadcast of wrestling on Memphis’ Channel 5 in the early to mid-1980’s. Hosted by weatherman Dave Brown and Lance “Banana Nose” Russell, it was the premier form of wrestling entertainment, the likes of which have never been seen before or since. In the BlogHawg vernacular, references to Jerry “the King” Lawler, “Dirty” Dutch Mantell, The Fabulous Ones, Superstar Bill Dundee and The Rock ‘n Roll Express are all made in respect to this brand of wrestling.
Example: “I once saw Superstar Bill Dundee at Dodge’s Store in P-Town. He bought a Dodger Dog and a nudie mag. It was the best day of my life.”
Methinks or Milady: Old English verbiage used by bloggers and other internet users in an effort to seem creative while posting a rather tepid or obvious thought. Seriously, if it’s commonly used by either Michael or Dwight on TV’s The Office,they are making fun of it and it should not be used in any way that your name is associated.
The (former) Mississippi Coach: Houston Dale Nutt, former coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. The BlogHawgs intentionally refuse to call him by his name so that there is ultimately less said about him. Or maybe they think he is like Beetlejuice. If you say his name three times, he’ll reappear and destroy the Hog quarterback. No word yet on what TMC will be doing now that Ole Miss saw the light.
Mississippi Rebel Land Shark & Mississippi Rebel Black Bear: The BlogHawg Nation had a grand old time trying to “help” Ole Miss decide on a new mascot. Yet another thread that was inspired more by interest in hammering The Mississippi Coach (see above) than by actual events.
NWC Report: The Northwest Corridor Report. A weekly summation of news and other items of note from up on The Hillposted on Fridays. If nothing else it gives the LA folks a reason to talk smack about things they covet such as the Streets of Gold and lack of violent crime and such.
The Obvious Game: This is a game on the NFL slate where, when you see the Vegas line, you say “Team XXX is going to cover that by 3 touchdowns! What are they thinking?” Do not play that game. Always remember that Vegas is smarter than you. If you decide to play it, go the other way. You’ll win more than you lose.
OCCUPY ____________! : In response the the rampant anti-Wall Street copycats, the BlogHawgs now OCCUPY! whatever you do that annoys us.
OPEN Week: A week during the season where a team has no scheduled game. This week does not show up on the W-L record since no games are played. Often confused with BYE week (See above)
P-Town: Reference to Paragould, Arkansas, Adam’s hometown. Also known as, Methagould.
Paragould Bathtub Meth: Not your garden-variety Northeast Arkansas meth with ingredients like muriatic acid (an acid that is commonly used for cleaning bricks and pavement, and not much else other than making meth). P-Town bathtub meth–aka–”Ice” or “Funk” or “The Sh*t” has stuff in it that is REALLY bad for you.
Patently Absurd: How Brett feels about most things he hears on Fox News.
People with Too Many Cats Who Watch Fox News All Day: Brett’s off-the-cuff way to describe… well… people who have too many cats and watch Fox News all day and believe it all to be true.
Period. : Sometimes used by people who want to express what they believe even though they can’t really back it up with pesky things like data or facts. Eg. “The (7-1) Hogs just aren’t good. Period.”
Random Act of Unkindness: Adam’s a bitter guy. He’ll be the first to tell you. Now that he has some free time, he seems to be interested in paying it forward. My advice to all of you is to not show team spirit for any other SEC school. Especially if you’re waiting for Adam’s parking space.
Remembering HawgBall Series: Adam’s series of posts and videos pining away for the days of 40 minutes of hell and well… success on the hard court.
The Rock: Referring to either War Memorial Stadium or the city of Little Rock.
Shakeweight: The incredibly awkward looking workout tool whose commercials have inexplicably made it past television censors for a year now. To go “shakeweight” is to… well… to get really, REALLY, REALLY excited about something. For eample: “ESPN is going shakeweight on Tebow.” We can’t do it justice here. Watch this clip: http://huff.to/bsPkNH
That Running Back That Likes Body Mass Index Challenged Girls: Michael Dyer, an Arkansas native that followed That Shiloh Coach to Auburn. He was videotaped enjoying some nightlife with some “weighty” girls. Currently, he is indefinitely suspended. Oops.
That Shiloh Coach: Gus Malzahn, former head football coach at Shiloh Christian University High School and Springdale High School, former O.C. at Auburn. He is now the Head Coach at Arkansas State.
Thursday Temptation: The ESPN Thursday night college football game featuring teams of no consequence. While it may seem like a good idea to meet up with the guys to watch the game, in reality you’re just trading in one hall pass for a crappy game. In most cases you should stay home and wait for a football binge (See above).
Streets of Gold: According to non-NWA residents, where the truly blessed residents of Northwest Arkansas drive their expensive cars.
TMC: The (former) Mississippi Coach (See above)
The Two Affliction Rule: Adam’s awesome belief that no human can ever have more than one incurable disease. This was his excuse for smoking in college (he has Cerebral Palsy) and Jeff’s for eating lots of fatty foods (he has Multiple Sclerosis.) Brett has not earned the privilege of taking advantage of the Two Affliction Rule. And Adam and Jeff hope he never does.
Unique: Singular of kind or type; having no other equal; one of a kind; a word that cannot be qualified (i.e., very unique) because its definition gives the word finite meaning.
Urb: Former, Current, Former Florida Head Football Coach, Urban Meyer. Now Head Coach at The Ohio State University. TebowSpeed, Urb.
Vintage Razorback Gear: Any item of Razorback clothing or paraphernalia owned by Adam Butler regardless of when it was purchased. This includes the Razorback loafers he bought at Wal-Mart before the Alabama game which created new holes in his skin. They are Vintage.
The Wamper: Former Conway Wampus Cat, Arkansas Razorback and current Cleveland Brown, Peyton Hillis. Adam gave him this nickname because he’s a Wampus Cat and because he “whomps” people in the NFL.
War Damn Eagle Tigers: See WDET below.
WDET: War Damn Eagle Tigers. Never has the disdain for Auburn been greater than since That Shiloh Coach moved there and he ran That Shiloh Running Back That Likes Body Mass Index Challenged Girls at the end of the game to score an unnecessary TD even though he was injured.
Weekly College Football Pick ‘em: Adam and Brett’s weekly attempt to get all “Jimmy the Greek” on the BH Nation. Adam and Brett do not allow Jeff to contribute because he knows nothing about college football and they are afraid he will out-pick them.
Wrands: Similar to cankles, only they are wrists that are indistinguishable from the hands. See: http://bloghawgs.com/2010/02/23/write-this-caption-auburn-signee-dakota-mosley-of/
Zinger! or Zing!: A comment that takes a slap at another person or organization. Old school Internet folks call it a Flame.