Our long, (Razorback) National Nightmare is almost over.These Fake Tweets (and the knowledge that the Arkansas Razorbacks should have a new head football coach in the next 2-3 weeks) are all that keep me hanging on through to the bitter end of the 2012 College Football season.
The only rules for this column are that the fake user names can’t be longer than 15 characters (but may or may not be registered, already), the Tweets cannot exceed 140 characters, and I have to end each one with a smarmy hash tag. Let’s have some hateful fun.
Iowa at Michigan: @TheLifeofPica: Most ppl know Denard Robinson is nicknamed “Shoelace”. Most ppl don’t know it’s bc Brady Hoke ate it. “ #doubleknot
Arkansas at Mississippi St.: @TonyStarkville: Even Iron Man couldn’t heal Hog fans’ wounds. #buttherighthirecouldAvengethem
Alabama A&M at Auburn: @PayDirt: Only 4 FBS teams have scored fewer points than the War Damn Eagle Tigers. #$180,000doesn’tgoasfarasitusedto
Wake Forest at Notre Dame: @PeaSoup: The Catholics figure to perform an exorcism on the Demon Deacons. #butBrianKellywillstillbetheonecursinglikeLindaBlair. (NSFW)
Mississipppi at LSU: @RebelFail: Two meltdowns in Oxford have put Mr. Freeze’s Bowl plans on ice. #HolyVandyMania,Batman
Sam Houston St. at Texas A&M: @JohnnyNoseFB: TAMU freshman phenom Johnny Manziel is walking proof of the Jersey Factor. #please,Johnny,usetheScoobymask,too
Texas Tech at Oklahoma St.: @RedRaidEars: Losing to Kansas would have been a slap in the face to Tuberville’s hopes of escaping Lubbock. #SlapDashing
Ohio St. at Wisconsin: @TomUrban&Harry: Cheese Heads vs. another kind of head. #ajerkhead,ofcourse
Oklahoma at West Virginia: @Flossin: The Men from the Land Of Few Trees v. The Men From the Land of Few Teeth. #TheirBarkisMuchWorseThanTheirBite
Syracuse at Missouri: @DGBLuvsOrange: After a breakout game last week, Dorial Green-Beckham shot up to 386th in the country in rec. yards. #&has4moreyardsthantheHogs’3rdstringQB
Tennessee at Vanderbilt: @Insult2Injury: Vandy is laying 4 points to the 4-win Vols. #andshouldbe
Kansas St. at Baylor: @Smooch: A QB that didn’t kiss his Wife ’til they were married vs. a Student Body that thinks it was too soon. #CeliBCSy
Samford at Kentucky: @yUK: UK might lose this game even if it was facing one dude named Sam Ford. #thePointSpreadis:”Finda12-StepProgram”