The Blog Hawgs

I have seen this movie before, and I know how it ends.  No, I am not talking about “Good Will Hunting”, one of my all-time favorite, “rewatchable” movies; I am talking about Houston Nutt and the Ole Miss Rebels’ version of Adam Sandler’s “Waterboy”. 

 Ironically released in (you guessed it) 1998, “Waterboy”, like the 2009, Rebels opened with much hype, but ultimately flopped at the box office.

 For those of you who haven’t been counting down the days until the college football season kicks off, Nutt, the current Ole Miss, and former Razorback head coach, is in a familiar position.

 He is the darling of all media darlings as the dog days of summer wind toward the crisp, anticipation-filled Saturdays in the fall.  And, I must admit, some of the hype is deserved.

 Last year, Nutt inherited a roster full of talented, yet chronically underachieving players at Ole Miss, and led them to a breakout season.  The Rebels 9-4 ’08 campaign included a besting of college football’s golden boy, Tim Tebow, in the Swamp, and a season ending thumping of the equally quirky Mike Leach and his Texas Tech Red Raiders in the Cotton Bowl. 

 With many of those same players returning to Oxford, and a schedule that sets up like a Roger Federer overhead slam after a line-hugging 135 mph serve, I understand the reasons for all the hubbub.

 What I don’t understand is how Nutt, yet again, seems to have forgotten that the bright glare of (self?) promotion invariably provides the spotlight for an eventual walk of shame.

 This space is too small (READ: I will be pleased if you are reading the next paragraph, much less 20 more) to rehash the Greek tragedy that was Razorback football during the Nutt era, but I think it’s suffice to say that most Razorback fans (pro or anti Nutt) would agree that he did his best finger-nail chewing from the middle of the pack.  A frontrunner, Nutt is not.

This team....is special.

Which is why I had to smile in the last few weeks when I not only read that Nutt, the Rebels and his lovely twin daughters are taking their show to reality TV but Nutt is also featured on the latest (regional) cover of Sports Illustrated  looking part Cheshire Cat  and part David Caruso from CSI Miami.               

 One would think that a man who prides himself on being able to relate to societal trends (I mean, really, his mastery of the phenomenon that is non-stop text messaging is quite remarkable) would know all about jinxes.

 Nonetheless, he has invited the SI Cover Jinx, the Reality TV jinx, and the yet-to-be named “Everybody loves us but we find a way to blow games we should have won” jinx into one offseason.

 The SI Cover Jinx is well-chronicled.  The Reality TV jinx isn’t as well known but is undoubtedly subscribed to by the 4 NFL teams that have been featured on HBO’s “Hard Knocks” and subsequently went a combined 28-36 with 1 playoff appearance in the seasons after they were featured.

 The result of this inexplicable tempting of fate by Nutt?  I am no sayer of sooth, but I think it will lead to a meltdown that goes from the pigskin equivalent of “Three Mile Island” after a loss at South Carolina on September 26 to gridiron “Chernobyl” as October ends with losses to the Brothers Petrino in Oxford (the bad blood and tension between they and Nutt during the offseason was reportedly taken to the next level) and the Fighting Chizhiks on the Plains

 Sure, that outcome is about as predictable as “Waterboy”, but similarly, it’s an opportunity to grab some couch, a remote, and bag of popcorn and replay all the goofy leading man’s missteps, even if you know how it all ends.

PS: Here’s something for your Football Doldrums: