It’s hot.  I mean, not absurdly hot.  But it’s another Arkansas summer.  We have hit the “dog days” so to speak.  Which of course means it’s time to start thinking about football season.  The preseason rags are hitting the newsstands, and the punditocracy nationwide is starting to look at the upcoming college football season.  While this is far from the best time of the sports year, it is indeed the calm before the storm. 

I recently found myself daydreaming about the upcoming football season.  The Razorbacks appear to be in position for a much stronger season than the 2008 campaign.  That of course is good news, but the really good news is that tailgating season is drawing nigh.  At this point of the summer, I am not quite certain which of the two excite me more. 

There really is nothing quite like an SEC tailgate.  Of course, I have no basis of comparison since the only other Division 1 (I still refuse to call it FBS) game I attended was the 1982 Texas/TCU matchup in Austin.  Before you get all hot and bothered, I was 6-years-old at the time and living in Austin.  Blame my folks.

But I do know the SEC is the best football conference by any conceivable measure, and tailgating cannot be an exception.  From the rich tradition of Ole Miss’ Grove to the 100,000 fans that descend on Baton Rouge each gameday, no other conference in America offers the unique flavor of barbecue, the greatest and smartest fans in the country, and by far the best product on the field each week.

Our group of tailgating friends have been together for years now, and we seem to have it down to a science.  The heartiest of the bunch arrive at the spot by 10:00am for the 6:00pm kickoffs – much earlier for the 11:30am starts.  By the time I arrive (usually coming straight there from Little Rock), the first course has been served, and we are waiting on brats and burgers to come off the grill.  Beers have been on ice for hours, leading to a wonderfully cold refreshment upon arrival.  Most importantly, the satellite has been positioned to collect the greatest signal from the heavens – ESPN’s College Gameday (presented by the Home Depot – I expect a big orange check for that). 

Tents dot the yard with dozens of other Hog faithful practicing the same rituals.  Washers and Baggo are being tossed, wobbly spirals fill the air, and the sense of a new beginning courses through the veins of the true believers.  Each kickoff leads to the possibility of seeing something special.

Our group of friends first hit Fayetteville 15 or more years ago, and each football season allows us all to recapture our youth for the day.  As a new father, I hope to instill this sense of hope and excitement in my daughter.  Life’s endless grind and relentless stress melt away each Saturday in the fall at least for a few hours.  The games often leave us frustrated, occasionally leave us elated.  But the tailgate remains the rally point for everyone with their optimism. 

The promise of another trip provides the excitement needed to get through these long, hot summer days.  Only eight more weeks until we all reconvene for another season.  Sometimes the clock just moves too slowly.

I have seen this movie before, and I know how it ends.  No, I am not talking about “Good Will Hunting”, one of my all-time favorite, “rewatchable” movies; I am talking about Houston Nutt and the Ole Miss Rebels’ version of Adam Sandler’s “Waterboy”. 

 Ironically released in (you guessed it) 1998, “Waterboy”, like the 2009, Rebels opened with much hype, but ultimately flopped at the box office.

 For those of you who haven’t been counting down the days until the college football season kicks off, Nutt, the current Ole Miss, and former Razorback head coach, is in a familiar position.

 He is the darling of all media darlings as the dog days of summer wind toward the crisp, anticipation-filled Saturdays in the fall.  And, I must admit, some of the hype is deserved.

 Last year, Nutt inherited a roster full of talented, yet chronically underachieving players at Ole Miss, and led them to a breakout season.  The Rebels 9-4 ’08 campaign included a besting of college football’s golden boy, Tim Tebow, in the Swamp, and a season ending thumping of the equally quirky Mike Leach and his Texas Tech Red Raiders in the Cotton Bowl. 

 With many of those same players returning to Oxford, and a schedule that sets up like a Roger Federer overhead slam after a line-hugging 135 mph serve, I understand the reasons for all the hubbub.

 What I don’t understand is how Nutt, yet again, seems to have forgotten that the bright glare of (self?) promotion invariably provides the spotlight for an eventual walk of shame.

 This space is too small (READ: I will be pleased if you are reading the next paragraph, much less 20 more) to rehash the Greek tragedy that was Razorback football during the Nutt era, but I think it’s suffice to say that most Razorback fans (pro or anti Nutt) would agree that he did his best finger-nail chewing from the middle of the pack.  A frontrunner, Nutt is not.

This team....is special.

Which is why I had to smile in the last few weeks when I not only read that Nutt, the Rebels and his lovely twin daughters are taking their show to reality TV but Nutt is also featured on the latest (regional) cover of Sports Illustrated  looking part Cheshire Cat  and part David Caruso from CSI Miami.               

 One would think that a man who prides himself on being able to relate to societal trends (I mean, really, his mastery of the phenomenon that is non-stop text messaging is quite remarkable) would know all about jinxes.

 Nonetheless, he has invited the SI Cover Jinx, the Reality TV jinx, and the yet-to-be named “Everybody loves us but we find a way to blow games we should have won” jinx into one offseason.

 The SI Cover Jinx is well-chronicled.  The Reality TV jinx isn’t as well known but is undoubtedly subscribed to by the 4 NFL teams that have been featured on HBO’s “Hard Knocks” and subsequently went a combined 28-36 with 1 playoff appearance in the seasons after they were featured.

 The result of this inexplicable tempting of fate by Nutt?  I am no sayer of sooth, but I think it will lead to a meltdown that goes from the pigskin equivalent of “Three Mile Island” after a loss at South Carolina on September 26 to gridiron “Chernobyl” as October ends with losses to the Brothers Petrino in Oxford (the bad blood and tension between they and Nutt during the offseason was reportedly taken to the next level) and the Fighting Chizhiks on the Plains

 Sure, that outcome is about as predictable as “Waterboy”, but similarly, it’s an opportunity to grab some couch, a remote, and bag of popcorn and replay all the goofy leading man’s missteps, even if you know how it all ends.

PS: Here’s something for your Football Doldrums: